As more gay men travel around the world to circuit parties, the number who become lost in transit in airport terminals, or can't express their needs for a wheelchair to airport staff after a long weekend due to their inability to talk, is ever increasing. In an effort to ensure that all dazed circuit boys arrive at their proper destinations and to help facilitiate immediate identification of their individual needs,the major airlines, American Medical Association, and the IATA (Int'l. Association of Tweekers Anonymous) have created the following acronyms from existing airport codes and suggest that each traveller visibly display this tag bearing the code of their final destination to prevent confusion:

ATL (Atlanta)--Appears Totally Lost or Anxious, Twitches Lots

BNA (Nashville) -- Boy Needs Attention (Ass)

BOS (Boston)--Bottom/Over-Sexed

BUR (Burbank)--Bottom Under Reconstruction

BWI (Baltimore/Washington International)--Best (or Bottom) When Intoxicated

CDG (Paris Charles DeGaulle)--Chews, Drools, Grinds

CMH (Columbus, Ohio)--Can't Make it Home

DEN (Denver)--Detox, Eating Necessary!

DFW (Dallas/Fort Worth)--Dead From the Weekend

DVL (Montreal Dorval)--Dramatic, Very Lude!

EWR (Newark, NJ)--Eyes Won't Respond (Refocus)

GIG (Rio De Janeiro)--Gross Incoherent Girl

HNL (Honolulu)--Horny, Needs Lovin'

HKG (Hong Kong)--He Knows "G"

IAD (Washington Dulles)--Improperly Accessorized Drag or Inappropriate  Anal Desires

JFK (New York Kennedy)--Journey For "K"

LAS (Las Vegas)--Lost All Sanity

LAX (Los Angeles)--Looks Awfully X'd

LGA (New York La Guardia)--Looking Ghastly Again!

LHR (London Heathrow)--Lock Her in Restraints, Locate Her in Restrooms

MCO (Orlando)--Moans Constantly Outloud

MIA (Miami)--Major Intelligence Absent

MSY (New Orleans)--MeSsY

NRT (Tokyo Narita)--No Rike Tweekers

ONT (Ontario,CA)--Obviously Needs Tina

ORD (Chicago O'Hare)--Obviously Really Disoriented

PHX (Phoenix)--Partied Heavily, Xanax'd

PSP (Palm Springs)--Perverted Sexual Person

SAN (San Diego)--Sunglasses Absolutely Needed

SEA (Seattle)--Seems Excited, Agitated

SFO (San Francisco)--Seeking Firm Objects or Sex (Speed) Fiend Onboard

STL (St. Louis)--Sleazy Transvestite Lover

SYD (Sydney, Australia)--Seeking Young Dick!

TAB (Tobago) -- Tina's A Bitch!