Top Ten Things Heterosexuals Need to Know About Gay People:

10. We didn't invent disco music so stop blaming us.

9. We're not sure about Ricky Martin either.

8. We also didn't invent the color black, but we are in complete agreement that you look better in it.

7. We are secretly glad Anne Heche is back on your team. She scares us.

6. Our so-called "radar" does not get us more cable stations or better reception.

5. We think your mini-vans are sooo cute!

4. David Crosby was not Melissa Etheridge's only choice.

3. If he's using two or more hair products at any one time, yes, he is.

2. If she's won Wimbledon sixteen times, she is too.

And, the number one thing that heterosexuals need to know about gay people is...

1. Relax, we don't want you! Part two..